


waiting for the end

by simplesilence



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22414870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplesilence/pseuds/simplesilence
Summary: rated t for mentions of self harm
Kudos: 2





	waiting for the end

empty screen why can't i type blank blank blank blank blank

just

* * *

is that what it looked like

the monitor

heart rate flatlines death and heart attacks

i didn't get to come out

if he had died that year i wouldn't have been able to come out

death and heart attacks

i never got to tell her i know it shouldn't be that big of a deal but i never got to tell her 

words spill out of me sometimes like a pot that is boiling over

the words on my hand won't completely fade now and it's like a cruel reminder

that was the intent so i guess it's working 

why can't i just fucking eat

i weigh less than most of my friends who are a year younger and i'm scared of myself

there's an impending possibility that i will pass out during gym class and i am so scared

i am so scared

i am so scared

i am so scared ! i am drowning ! i can't breathe ! i am too scared of nightmares to fall asleep !

i am spiraling further and further into my own head and it happens in the middle of class now

i am falling apart and i don't think anyone can see it

it hurts and i feel like a seventh grader again

the girl who was too far down to notice the worried whispers

in seventh grade i didn't think i would make it to high school


End file.
